The monk joke
A group of monks were busily working away in the scriptorium of their monastery one day. A wise, old monk was copying a very old manuscript they had just been given. He suddenly burst in tears and was clearly very distraught. The abbot came running and asked, ‘what is wrong?’. The tearful monk cries out, ‘the word, the word is celebrate!’.
posted by harrenz at 6:01 am
1 Comments:
Well now i've been through the joy of getting this far so i may as complete my play and write something!!
Looks like you're all having a really great time, this is not surprising given all the fantastic adventures you've been crusading and of course that you've been using 'the joint' for like a month now - far out dudes!!
Anyways, might as well try and make this comment useful - so how abouts some more monk jokes...
1. A young man decides the monastic life is for him so he joins this order of silent monks.
Every seven years he is permitted a sort of escape valve, however, and is allowed to say two words.
On the first ocassion the senior monks invite him to speak, he says "Cold rooms"
Another seven long years go by and he is again permitted to say his two words, he says, "Bad food!"
After yet another wearisome seven long, boring, rotten years he is again sat in front of his elders and asked to speak his two words, he says "I quit!"
The elder monks reply, "Not surprised. You've done nothing but complain since you got here."
2.
A visitor to a monastery was being shown round by the abbot when a monk shouted out: "64!" All the other monks roared with laughter. Another then called out "15", again much laughter. "What's going on?" asked the visitor. "They know each other's jokes inside out," said the abbott. "So rather than tell them each time, they've numbered them. If one calls out a number, they think of the joke and laugh. Have a go..." The visitor called out "45" and there was a small ripple of polite laughter. "I'm afraid," said the Abbot, "that's not very funny, try again." So the visitor called out "56" and there was uproar. "Must have been a good joke." "Yes," said the abbot wiping his eyes. "And we've never heard it before."
3. A monk and a nun were crossing a bleak landscape together. The weather closed in, it grew foggy and dark, and night was falling. Fortunately, they came upon a battered trapper's hut and sought shelter. Inside there was only one bed, but there was a rough sleeping bag in one corner and a good pile of blankets in another. They said their prayers and settled down to sleep for the night, the wind howling outside. Naturally, the monk offered the nun the quite large bed and huddled in the corner in the shabby sleeping bag.
'I'm cold,' said the nun after about a quarter-of-an-hour.
The monk sighed, rose from the sleeping bag, walked over to the other corner, retrieved a blanket, laid it carefully on the nun's bed, and climbed back into his thin sleeping bag.
'I'm cold,' said the nun again after another quarter-of-an-hour.
The monk sighed, rose from the sleeping bag, walked over to the other corner, retrieved a blanket, laid it carefully on the nun's bed, and climbed back into his thin sleeping bag.
'I'm cold,' said the nun again after another quarter-of-an-hour.
'Look, why don't we pretend that we're married?' said the monk.
'Well, I won't tell anyone if you don't,' said the nun.
'Good. Right. Get your own bloody blanket,' said the monk.
4:20 pm
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